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CHALLENGES > Off-Site Challenges > Potter Place's Anything Goes Challenge

Characters: Dobby, Hermione Granger, Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape, Tom Riddle (Voldemort)
Genre(s): Alternate, Universe, Humor, Poetry/Prose
Warnings: Violence
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Seventy Hundred Shiny Black Buttons
by pokeystar
K+ (PG)


Author's Notes: Answer to prompt 59: What if someone (pairing of your choice) introduced Snape to Velcro? No more buttons! Further acknowledgement of inspiration due to Pookah, who asked for house-elves, and Shel Silverstein. I miss you, Uncle Shelby. Many thanks to my beta.



Seventy Hundred Shiny Black Buttons




Exceptionally punctual Severus Snape
Justly prided himself on never being late
When one lazy morning he woke at half of eight
To gaze with dismay at
Seventy hundred shiny black buttons.

With regret he skipped breakfast, boy was he cranky
A very good thing Hogwarts disallowed spankies
Down in the cold dungeon, all darky and danky
Pupils froze in fear of
Seventy hundred shiny black buttons.

His demeanor dour, by lunch did not improve
Summons to the Dark Lord further blackened his mood
To his Master he was snappish and rather rude
Felt Crucio in all
Seventy hundred shiny black buttons.

A post-torture pants change earned him the shortest straw
Missing the staff meeting really stuck in his craw
Being conferred Gryff patrol, his ice did not thaw
Even his peers dodged
Seventy hundred shiny black buttons.

A most inopportune and ill-timed W.C. break
Spoiled the potion he was attempting to make
So many buttons to clasp, he’d had all he could take
S. Snape was fed up with
Seventy hundred shiny black buttons.

Head of House duties called in the middle of night
Hurriedly dressing, much too late to prevent a fight
Lucius would be displeased, when he heard of the bite
Sev denounced each of
Seventy hundred shiny black buttons.

These summons to the Death Eaters were getting old
How rich he would be, for every torture paid gold
Elder Malfoy’s skills rivaled his Master’s tenfold
What could be done about
Seventy hundred shiny black buttons.

All this time, house-elf eyes watched the Black Bat’s struggle
For means of relief, elves sought while duties they juggled
Hermione told Dobby of a solution Muggle
Elves grabbed his clothes graced by
Seventy hundred shiny black buttons.

Little hands sewed all night to appease the spy’s woe
Loyalty to the man with a Patronus doe
By dawn every jacket bore a strip of Velcro
Hidden behind rows of
Seventy hundred shiny black buttons.



Drawing by Thanfiction







Seventy Hundred Shiny Black Buttons by pokeystar

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