Falling Hard
Chapter 1 of 1
Battle of LissaThere is something to be said for major age differences in relationships.
ReviewedAm I just a passing fancy you found,
Stray and willing along the beaten path?
Am I just a warm body in your bed,
As you stroke my back, do you laugh?
I have no control over the capacity of my experience,
Time brings the wrinkles of knowledge and acceptance.
A young age and ripe body seem alluring to begin with,
Am I just a novelty flattering your existence?
Am I a private game with a timer on my heart?
Enticing words whispered in my ear so I never stray.
Have you been decieving me from the very start?
How easy I fell for you, heavy on my back and hips I lay.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Falling Hard
2 Reviews | 8.5/10 Average
"As you stroke my back, do you laugh?"
"How easy I fell for you, heavy on my back and hips I lay."
I like this, there's an allusion to being stabbed in the back and/or betrayed... or at least that's my take on it. Your poem also evokes (again, imho) the feeling of falling in love while also suspecting/knowing that the person in question is untrustworthy. Terrible feeling to fall in love first and realize the potentiality for pain after the fact.
Response from Battle of Lissa (Author of Falling Hard)
This is about falling in love with someone who seems so perfect... almost too perfect so you begin to doubt.Thank you for the review!
Interesting reversal of the young-old dilemma.Good ideas in "no control over the capacity of my experience" and "private game with a timer on my heart."Wished some of the lines scanned better.Inspired me to a paraphrase which I will try to send to you.
Response from Battle of Lissa (Author of Falling Hard)
Thank you for the review. I'm glad that you liked my poem and that it inspired you enough to write a paraphrase. I recieved your email and I really enjoyed it. Thank you for spending the time to write that and send it to me.