Scared

Scared

I often said that I

Could never ask you

How you felt about me.

I was so scared of

Being rejected.

But now that I have

Asked, I am so

Very happy. Happier

Than I ever imagined

I could be.

You have made me this

Happy. Your caring.

Your sweetness. Your concern

For me. I never quite know

How to respond

When you do or say

Such sweet and caring

Things. I don't have the

Words to tell you

How I feel.

Except to tell you

That I care more

Than I thought possible

To care for anyone outside

God and family.

I am tempted to use

The "L-word" -- you

Know the one I mean --

But I don't want to scare

You (or me)

More than I already

Have. The way you

Look at me sometimes

Makes me just want to

Melt in your arms.

But yet I am scared

To get too close to

You -- scared I'll

Get burned. Burned by the

Fire of rejection.

Maybe not now but

Somewhere down the

Road. So if I seem to

Be holding back at

Times, don't worry.

It's not you I'm

Scared of. It's me.

I'm scared to get too

Close. Scared I'll start

Taking you for granted

And do something stupid.

And mess up this

Wonderful thing

We have. I don't want

To lose you.

Not now. Hopefully not ever.

But definitely

Not now when we've

Just begun. When we've

Just started

This relationship. I have

Wanted this for so

Long. I'm so scared that

I will mess it up. So scared

Of losing you.

Copyright 2000